The terror Inside (Libdem Conference Report)

My good friend CRUSHED BY INGSOC likes to put up videos and music to reflect his mood. I have decided this is a good idea and in the same spirit I offer the masterpiece that should be near here somewhere for your contemplation.

More from Ming

Continued from last post...

The Epic Life and Times of Menzies Cholmondley Campbell..

As the bar fell quite - Ming began to speak, the mood was reverent, even the howler monkeys stopped eating cherries and sucked on each others nipples instead. As the darkness fell outside, and the small animal burnt low in the grate, emitting an evil stench, we all, The skeleton, Edward Heath, Barabra Amiel, some ghosts and even Busty Bonita, hung on the everyword of his horrible tale.

"I was born in the year of our Lord 1584 as near as I know, in the town of Libdemgia, a small run down place in Hungarian Transylvania, my father I never knew. My mother was a kind of weasel which had been bitten - as I later learnt - by a very small vampire. It is this that accounts for my extraordinary age. That - and the fact that I was raised on weasel milk.."

At this point, he swigged deeply from his glowing red Old Lesbian No.3 the famous beetroot coloured beer - and gestured to the invisible creature behind the bar for another drink. It materialised in his outstretched hand. His features were gaunt, and lined. He continued..

"For a long period of my life I ran from my background. It is this that was the reason I kept getting olympic medals and stuff, as I kept getting sucked into competitions. But my life was empty of meaning. I yearned to be leader of a teeny political party in the UK. It was my life times ambition."

The look that passed across his face showed the assembled people and things how dear this ambition had cost him. His face looked like someone might look if they were actually staring at a lot of dead bodies. Not just at a bar full of perfectly ordinary Pub guests and some strikingly awful tat. The silence was only broken by Barbara Amiel having an orgasm... she had just realised who Ming is/was.

"I set about it in the normal way. I lied to everyone about my name and background. I even joined the SNP for a while. I began to eliminate my opponents - I had to fall back on the dreadful vampiric techniques I learnt back in the sixteenth century..."

TBC BLOG NEWS!!

Preparation for the South Devon Autumn Solstice are well underway. Events include:-

*Mass Happy Slapping event*

*Rave for People Dressed as Pies*

*Hanging from a Pole with Pectoral Muscles Pierced*

*Moon Pie Eating Competition*

*Chase and Beat Mu Tai Dong*

More ideas Please!!