PU F F I N N I G H T ! !

The Howler Monkey float in the parade was the expected disaster. They may be highly intelligent-but they simply filled the float with nuts which they threw at the crowds. Also one continuously masturbated scattering radioactive luminous sperms onto the crowds. Oh Dear!! So much for equality!

Some of the mongs and freaks had armed themselves with weaponry from the kitchens - hence another bloodbath amongst the Albanian community. By the time I met them they were wearing necklaces of ears and tongues -not a pretty sight! Also they had been scalping beards!!

The sex perverts and nonces had drawn together in solidarity - armed with vibrators sticking out from the folds of their long macs. They formed a formidable block till Frobie hit them with a hail of deadly warm holey melons! They scattered -and we were amongst them!! 3 dead and seven severely injured in less than 45 seconds until they fled back into the shadows! Lurking beneath the railway bridge - where I could hear the mail order bride and her terrifying family of pups howling to the moon (I fear I am their father -that is one family reunion I am not looking forward to!!)


In Arse Street the Easter Parade began its traditional search for flesh - and hostilities commenced!!!!

Needless to say the Sherman Tank came in handy - the Mobility Scooter was set on fire - Frobie barely escaped and his trousers were on fire! Ms FN, armed with a tomahawk and otherwise naked -lead our onslaught - the spirit of Boadicea lives!! At the crucial moment when mongs and Albanians threatened to over run us -I played my trump card. A huge projector displayed the climax scenes from "Honey Does Dorset" (Anal XXX £9.99) onto the figure of the Rude Man carved in the Dorset Chalk behind us! The Albanians broke first,scattering into night pursued by Will-o-the-wisps leaving children and begging bowls everywhere -the mongs followed leaving prosthetic limbs and surgical supports in the smoky blood stained field!

We had won again!!

Later at the Ropemakers we drank Old Lesbian No.6 whilst Old Doctor Scroggity tended the flesh wounds ....

I went home with small terrified but apparently female Gnome - how wrong I was - She Males exist amongst Gnomes as well. Its a pity because I was so close to ejaculation! It would have been my first in company for 11 years...